


lass frooby noo

by rozurei



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 13:05:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10787295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozurei/pseuds/rozurei
Summary: Baekhyun isn't expecting to find romance by playing Sims, but there's something about Kim Joonmyun that is... eerily familiar.





	lass frooby noo

**Author's Note:**

> (prompt #157)
> 
> I wasn't sure what to do with this so I just let my mind go wild and... here you go! Hope you like it :)

Baekhyun has always been a fan of video games. He doesn't know what it is that makes them so... addicting. Maybe it's the competitiveness of the whole thing. Baekhyun always wanted to be good at sports, but he never made the high school football team. He'd managed to climb the ranks in League of Legends, though, and that hadn't required any physical activity on his part. It had been the same for DotA. However, these games usually became more fun when you played with friends... and Baekhyun has few of those, even fewer who game.

Maybe it's the life-wasting potential. If Baekhyun is good at anything, it's wasting his life. If it were a school subject, he would have gotten straight As and come home to his mom proud, but alas, it is not. He's not a total failure - he did actually graduate from college with a job to boot, but it wasn't Havard Law. Not everyone can be as smart as Baekbeom, he mutters in his head whenever he's forced to travel home to Philadelphia during those rare family get-togethers.

His Steam library has more titles than the local library. The money he makes, save for rent and necessities, disappears before he can say 'PayPal' because what else is he going to do on the weekend?

The problem is, he's played all the good games. All of them. He's played all the bad games, too, and there's just nothing else out there. Which is why, when he comes home from work on a lonely Friday evening, he finds himself navigating somewhere he thought he'd never go. It's not that he hates certain games like this... it's just... they're for losers. Losers with no social lives.

Just like Baekhyun, then.

He purses his lips as he presses the download button, wondering how long it'll take. His Internet is decent, which is good, because his roommate likes to clog up the bandwidth by downloading Chinese dramas instead of watching them online like a normal person.

While he waits, Baekhyun makes a sandwich in the kitchen and settles in front of the TV. Tao isn't back yet, so he gets to choose what to watch. Tao has recently developed an interest in cooking shows, which is completely stupid seeing as he never cooks. _Ever._

Some time later, Baekhyun returns to his PC, checking the window.

_Sims 3 downloaded!_

Great. It was kind of quick, at least. Of course, this is only the base game, and he wants the _full_ experience, so he'll leave the rest of them on download overnight. He did, after all, buy the complete collection.

♦◇♦◇♦

Installing every game one by one is a chore, but once Baekhyun has finished, he thinks it's worth it. He's found some nifty mods as well, and when he loads up the game and makes himself, he thinks he does a pretty good job. He manages to get his hair the _exact_ color of dirty blond that he'd been going for, and although the glasses selection isn't great, he manages to find a nice pair of thick-rimmed specs that suit his Simself perfectly.

Once he's dressed himself, picked out his personality and moved himself into his new tiny house, he stops. This _is_ Sims. He can do whatever he likes on it, right? So why not create his dream partner, move them into the neighborhood and start a real love story? He doesn't have anything like that going on in real life at the moment, and nobody will know if he makes one on Sims...

Baekhyun loads out of his house and into Create-A-Sim again. He selects a guy, because it's not as though his mom can see. It takes him a good few minutes to actually figure out what type he's into before he gets to work, more determined than ever before.

Gentle features. Neat, dark hair. Smart clothes that scream 'yuppie' and nice shined shoes. Then to the traits...

Baekhyun isn't really sure what kind of personality he goes for, so he just chooses some random ones. Friendly. Hopeless romantic. Oh, and great kisser, he sure isn't going to miss out on that.

Now all that's left is a name. Baekhyun is shit at naming things. His childhood fish had been called Fish Finger and the cat he got during his teenage years is called Meow. Meow is still alive at the ripe old age of thirteen, spending her days sleeping instead of mousing like she used to. His sim deserves a worthy name.

After around five minutes, he comes up with the name Suho. It's not a real name, but... it's a name nonetheless. Only the sim needs a first _and_ last name, so Baekhyun calls him Suho Sim. He moves him into a house nearby, then starts the game up again on his own sim. The sky's the limit for this sim. He wonders if he can have a job similar to his real-life job... 

Once BaekSim is all settled in with a job and even a pet rat, Baekhyun sends him out to the town. There's a coffee shop in a commercial area next to a park that looks like a giant pool which is a perfect spot to hang and meet the locals, and hopefully Suho Sim. As soon as Baekhyun's sim arrives, a flock of others seem to appear out of nowhere, eager to socialize. It's so easy. One minute Baekhyun is chatting to some blond sim about his new house and the next minute they're playing rock paper scissors.

Suddenly something catches his eye. It's Suho Sim, looking way too overdressed for the summer's day. Baekhyun ditches the blond sim and quickly clicks on Suho Sim, greeting him. Baekhyun has never felt so weirdly enthusiastic about a video game _ever._

The greeting goes well. Baekhyun jumps right into the deep end and enthuses to Suho Sim about cats. He has a huge smile on his face which is really fucking ridiculous... but it's completely _wiped_ from his face when Suho Sim rejects the conversation, decreasing their friendship. There must be some sort of mistake. How... can Suho Sim... _not_ like cats?

"What are you doing?" Huge hands suddenly clap his shoulders and Baekhyun _jumps_ , his heart sinking. He turns around and of course it's only Tao, cat-like eyes narrowed as he stares at Baekhyun's monitor. "Is that... Sims? Are you playing Sims, Baekhyun?"

"No!" Baekhyun minimizes the tab. "It... it was a Let's Play! I clicked on it by accident!"

"Good... because only losers play Sims," Tao says, taking a step back. He smells really good and he's dressed to impress. Baekhyun guesses he's just come back from a lunch date or something.

He's also a huge hypocrite. "But... I've _seen_ you play Sims 4! I saw that video you uploaded!"

Tao rolls his eyes and waves his hand in dismissal. "All the gaming YouTubers played it when it came out. I didn't _like_ it - who was that sim your sim was talking to, anyway? Your future husband?"

"It was just a sim generated by the game," Baekhyun lies, standing up. He wants Tao out of his room and out of his virtual life. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's have some chips, or something."

♦◇♦◇♦

It’s raining. Baekhyun had checked the weather just before he left, but he’d been in a rush and decided to leave his umbrella at home on account of the _light showers_ warning. But alas, light showers had turned into a heavy downpour that isn’t worth the walk. Jacket over his head, he takes cover in the nearest coffee shop he can find, planning on waiting the worst of it out.

He orders a hot chocolate to help with the chill of the rain, sitting by the window to make sure he’ll be the first to know when it holds up. Other people dash by, covering their heads with whatever they can find. Some have the same idea as Baekhyun, and he imagines that the owners of this place won’t be very happy with all the mopping they have to do.

About half way through his drink, Baekhyun sees a man limp past the window, his head hanging like a broken puppet. He doesn’t have an umbrella nor anything covering his head, and when Baekhyun hears the bell of the door ring, he looks over in interest.

The man looks like he’s seen better days. His hair is dripping and the expensive suit that he’d been wearing is completely sodden. Baekhyun feels sorry for him. His own day doesn’t look so bad in retrospect.

Baekhyun looks back outside to the city. He’s only been to Seoul once, but the rainy season had been warm. Here in New York, the rain is cold and the winters can be unforgiving. Baekhyun and Tao’s small apartment keeps the heat in, though, so that’s always something. One day Baekhyun wants to make the jump and move to the west coast where he doesn’t have to worry about the shitty weather so much. Los Angeles sunshine calls to him, with beaches and bars and all kinds of fun to be had.

Suddenly, Baekhyun hears something snap. He turns around just in time to see a briefcase flap open, papers flying out onto the damp floor beneath them. The owner is, of course, the rain-haggard man, and he swears in Korean as he leans over the side of his seat to grab at the papers.

"Do you need some help?" Baekhyun asks casually in Korean, and the man looks up. Kind eyes meet his own, and the man’s face completely soften when he smiles. For a moment Baekhyun is taken aback because this guy looks _really_ familiar, and Baekhyun knows _why_ , but he refuses to make a link between this guy and Suho Sim. That’s just absurd and downright weird.

"No, I’ve got it," the man assures him, stacking the papers back up and shutting the briefcase after. "I _thought_ the hinge was loose… guess it’s better in here than out there." He gestures towards the window, and Baekhyun nods.

"You’ve got that right. I thought the forecast said light showers, but clearly that got lost in translation somewhere," Baekhyun sighs, trying his best not to look at this real-life Suho Sim. "The one day I forget to bring my umbrella and the heavens open when I’ve barely left for work."

"Same," the man grumbles. "I should know better than to walk. I guess that’s what I get for trying to live a healthy life… I’m Joonmyun, by the way. Joonmyun Kim." He extends his hand like they’re in a business meeting, and Baekhyun leans across to shake his hand awkwardly.

"Baekhyun Byun. Nice to meet you, Joonmyun. I hope the weather clears up soon so you can get that faulty briefcase home."

Joonmyun’s smile softens even more around the edges, causing Baekhyun to look away in case he does something dumb, like stare too hard. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s stared at someone he’s found attractive, and he worries he’ll come off as weird.

He finishes up his hot chocolate without any other interaction with Joonmyun, guessing that that’s that. The rain has lightened some, enough that Baekhyun won’t get pelted by the raindrops. This is as good a time to leave as any, seeing as there’s always a chance it could worsen again. Baekhyun’s clothes are going to smell if he doesn’t dry them soon.

Joonmyun is still at his table when Baekhyun gets up to leave, offering him yet another smile. Baekhyun smiles back, as genuine as he possibly can, and leaves quickly without looking back.

It’s sad, he thinks, how attractive people can pass by your life without it meaning anything. Damn bad luck.

♦◇♦◇♦

Baekhyun’s Sims expertise is well below par. He thought it would be easy — move in, make friends, fall in love. Except nobody wants to be BaekSim’s friend. BaekSim chats to other sims over and over like he’d seen in the Sims memes, but it’s just not doing what it advertised. Baekhyun keeps seeing a notification about sims getting bored, but this is _his_ game damn it, and if he wants it to be lifelike then chatting is the only thing his sim is going to do. Just like real life, because although Baekhyun is sociable, as soon as it comes to deep and meaningful conversations, he’d rather pass.

He sees Suho Sim arrive at the lot, a small nectary that he built, and rolls his eyes.

Suho Sim and BaekSim had been going nowhere from the start. Ever since he rejected Baekhyun’s cat conversation, Baekhyun had been mad at him. It didn’t help that pretty early in the game, he’d married a woman and spawned some brood as well. Baekhyun has nothing against children, but sim children are something else entirely. People have an annoying habit of leaving their babies on the floor in places Baekhyun would rather them not be, such as doorways. Baekhyun is sure that Suho Sim’s wife is a nice lady, but he really doubts her parenting skills.

Baekhyun instructs BaekSim to drink more nectar. Who needs Suho Sim when BaekSim has a lifetime’s supply of nectar within the walls of this rustic little building? It’s not as if BaekSim’s life is going well. His bed is cheap and he never seems to get enough sleep, plus he always burns his food so Baekhyun just makes him eat salad all the time. The dishes haven’t been done in days and there are flies everywhere, plus BaekSim just doesn’t seem to be performing well at his job.

A notification suddenly pops up about a SimFest starting, so Baekhyun decides it’s probably time to ditch this joint. He takes BaekSim along to the location, gritting his teeth as BaekSim stands in the doorway waving his hand around because there’s a baby blocking his path.

"You’re _useless_!" He hisses angrily, clicking hard on his mouse to reroute his sim. "Use the other door!"

Once BaekSim is at the SimFest, Baekhyun tries to converse with a guy who is just standing around, but oh, this guy is a _celebrity_ , and apparently Baekhyun isn’t important enough to socialize with him. How _rude._

Baekhyun is just starting to wonder why this game ever became popular in the first place when Suho Sim appears, yet _again_ , wife and three children in tow. Baekhyun chooses to ignore him, but to his surprise, Suho Sim approaches him and talks to him _first._

"Go away," Baekhyun says, shooing Suho Sim with his hand as if he’s a real person. "You’re not wanted here you cat-hater."

Baekhyun makes BaekSim imply that Suho Sim’s mother is a llama, and grins widely when Suho Sim gets insulted. However, he seems to brush the remark aside, beginning to chat with BaekSim about money or something.

Baekhyun just… gives up. He gets up from his seat and shuffles out of his room, not even bothering to pause the game. Tao is in the living room, laying down on the sofa watching a horror show on Netflix.

"What you up to holed up in there?" Tao asks through a mouthful of chips. "Not Sims I hope."

A long sigh drags from deep inside Baekhyun. "It’s not as fun as it looked.  I’m being ostracized by the community and there are babies all over the floor."

Tao sits up a little, eyes narrowed. "Babies… on the floor?"

"Yup," Baekhyun replies, shuffling into the kitchen. "Don’t ask."

Baekhyun makes two minute noodles because he’s too lazy to make anything else, and when he gets back to his computer, plopping into his seat, things seem to have taken an interesting turn.

BaekSim and Suho Sim are dancing together to some music another sim is playing. They seem to be having a pretty good time… their relationship bar has bumped up a little so it’s less red and more green now.

"What are you _doing_?" Baekhyun practically yells at BaekSim. "One minute you’re insulting him and the next minute you’re dancing? Make up your mind!"

He’s starting to get annoyed at the very sight of Suho Sim. His stupid neat hair and expensive-looking clothes make Baekhyun want to delete him. He’s not sure why. Maybe it’s because he’s annoyed things didn’t work out between him and BaekSim. Or, Baekhyun thinks, maybe it’s because of the resemblance between Suho Sim and Joonmyun Kim from the coffee shop. Baekhyun idly wonders if Joonmyun has a wife, hates cats and leaves his babies on the floor.

It’s probably time BaekSim went home to do the dishes. It’s also time that Baekhyun forgot Suho Sim as well as Joonmyun Kim, because there’s no use clinging on to things that will never, ever be.

♦◇♦◇♦

On the weekend, Tao drags Baekhyun to a small Chinese culture event in The Bronx. It’s not exactly Baekhyun’s thing, but seeing as he works in the music industry, he decides to go along for the music. They invite Chanyeol and Jongin along too, and Chanyeol is already there, waving frantically when he sees Baekhyun and Tao coming towards him.

"You’re here!" He claps his hands together enthusiastically. "Great! Now we can go and fetch Jongin."

"Fetch Jongin?" Baekhyun asks as Chanyeol nods.

"Yeah. He heard there was a mini food market and I haven’t seen him since, so we better find him," Chanyeol looks down at a piece of paper in his hands. A pamphlet for the event, by the looks of it. "There’s music at one and I don’t want to miss it."

"I see you came prepared," Tao grins, pulling out his own pamphlet. "The only reason Baekhyun is here is for the music, so we should find Jongin."

The food market is upstairs, and it smells _super_ good. Baekhyun is pretty used to Chinatown now and everything it has to offer seeing as he’s lived with Tao for three years. Still, the smell of fresh egg cakes lures him up and pretty soon he sees Jongin making conversation with a vendor, his plate full of all kinds of things.

"Whatcha get?" Baekhyun asks, clapping his hands onto Jongin’s shoulders, peering over them. "Looks good."

Jongin looks back at him, giving him a small smile. "Hey. Uh… a bit of everything?" Jongin chuckles. "By the way, there’s a bakery stand down the end. I know you love the Swiss rolls from Golden Manna."

"Swiss rolls?" Baekhyun blinks and then pats Jongin’s shoulder. "Bye! I’ll come and find you when I’m done."

"Music, Baekhyun!" Chanyeol scolds as Baekhyun turns around. "Don’t be late."

"This is an open venue, Chanyeol, I’ll be able to hear the music wherever we are! Go and find a place to stand without me, I may be a while."

'A while' turns into seven or eight minutes of Baekhyun browsing the bakery stalls deciding exactly what he wants _right now,_ and also trying to gage what he’ll want this evening, and tomorrow. It’s a tough decision, because although he loves the creamy Swiss rolls the bakeries always sell, he’ll probably kick himself if he just buys a bunch of them instead of getting some variety.

"Looks like you’re having some trouble making your mind up," someone says from his side, and Baekhyun looks up, expecting the vendor.

It’s not a vendor. It’s Joonmyun Kim from the coffee shop wearing a blue argyle sweater that Baekhyun’s pretty sure he’d seen one of his uncles wear before.

"Oh," Baekhyun says in surprise. "It’s you!"

Joonmyun smiles, his eyes creasing up. "It is indeed me. I’m surprised to see you here, actually. What a coincidence."

Yes, what a coincidence. How odd that Joonmyun should be here. It’s like he’s Suho Sim in the flesh, stalking Baekhyun to SimFests and—

 _Hang on._ The first time BaekSim and Suho Sim had met was at a coffee shop… and today Baekhyun runs into Joonmyun at an event that just so happens to have live music performances… eerily similar to a SimFest...

That’s just _weird._

"My roommate is Chinese. He wanted to come here to try to pick up a date, I think." He wouldn’t really put it past Tao. "Why are you here? This is pretty far from Brooklyn."

"A date, huh? Well, a friend of mine is performing something today, so I came along for moral support. Plus I’d never turn down a chance to go to a culture festival if it means cheap food," Joonmyun’s voice is soft, just like his smile. Baekhyun gets a sudden urge to imply that his mother is a llama, but he’s guessing that won’t go down well.

"Oh, right," Baekhyun says, eyeing some dough sticks. "Yeah, I love Chinese food. I never used to be too fond of it until I started living with Tao — my roommate, that is — but now I’ve developed a fondness for Chinese bakeries. I don’t know what it is about them, they just lure me in." 

Joonmyun laughs quietly. "Well, it’s the same for me. Even the Western-style food tastes so much better, don’t you think?"

"Definitely," Baekhyun nods, picking up a packaged Swiss roll. "I like things with cream. The Swiss rolls are my favorite because they’re spongey and creamy and _big._ I could go through an entire roll in one day if I let myself, but I try and pace myself because I hate it when I’m running out. Most of the time I forget to throw the packaging away so I see it in my cupboard and get excited, but then I take it out and there’s… nothing." He suddenly realizes that he’s babbling on to a complete stranger. "I like wife cakes, too."

"I like pineapple buns," Joonmyun says. "But my favorite sweet is _tteok._ I know that’s not Chinese, but… it’s my favorite."

"I like _tteok,_ too," Baekhyun says as if they have so much in common. It’s not like they’re both Korean. It’s not like both of their mothers fed them _tteok_ from a young age. "Pity they don’t sell any here, but I mean, it _is_ a Chinese culture event… so why would they…"

Baekhyun inwardly curses at himself. Why the hell is Joonmyun here? What possible reason could there be for the gods to send him here at the exact same time that Baekhyun is here, too? Joonmyun looks… oddly appealing today. Baekhyun had thought he was attractive when he saw him the other day at that coffee shop in Brooklyn, but _today_ he looks cute. Baekhyun wonders how old he is, but doesn’t want to ask because it’s personal.

"Maybe I’ll try something new," Joonmyun announces, picking up a Swiss roll identical to Baekhyun’s. "I’ve never tried this before. What flavor is it? It’s purple…"

"The purple one is taro," Baekhyun says. "The brown one is chocolate, and the green one is green tea. I recommend them all, but taro is my personal favorite."

"Are you getting anything else?" Joonmyun asks, and Baekhyun shakes his head.

"No. I don’t want to pig out… once I start eating, I can’t really stop. It’s a curse," he shuffles to the vendor, handing over the cash. He’s thankful when she gives him a bag, but he’s going to have to be careful for the rest of the day now in case it gets squished.

Once Joonmyun has paid, they idle through some other stalls. Joonmyun chats a little about the event and what performances he’s excited to see. Then he talks about a trip to China that he’d taken over a decade ago and how much things had changed when he went back there last year. Baekhyun listens to Joonmyun’s story, giving his own input about a trip to Spain that’s nowhere near as interesting, and nothing to do with China at all. Joonmyun has also been to Spain, only it was in the nineties when he was a teenager. _That_ piques Baekhyun’s interest, and he tries to find a way to ask Joonmyun how old he is without it sounding like he’s asking.

"I was too young to go anywhere in the nineties," Baekhyun says strategically. "I think my parents took me to Yellowstone when I was four, but I barely remember any of it."

"I went to Yellowstone and I don’t want to remember it," Joonmyun says with a laugh, and Baekhyun gives him a look. "The place was okay. The company wasn’t so great."

Baekhyun doesn’t ask. He can’t think of anything else to say right now, how to prod.

They walk back down to the ground floor and Baekhyun momentarily panics. His friends all know his preference, and when they see him with Joonmyun, they’re going to make assumptions. Tao especially, and he’s the worst at hiding it.

"When is your friend going on?" Baekhyun asks with genuine interest, trying to sneakily scan the place for his friends. "I could… watch with you, if you’d like?"

His voice cracks on the last word, the hesitation ringing clear. Baekhyun might as well drown himself in a barrel of Tsingtao.

"What about your roommate? Won’t he mind?" Joonmyun asks, raising a brow. "I wouldn’t want to impose. I think he’s going on first, actually."

Baekhyun waves his hand flippantly. "Oh no, don’t worry about him. He’s with our other friends. Honestly, they’re the ones who came here for the actual event so they’re probably looking at the craft stalls or something!"

It’s a blatant lie, but Joonmyun doesn’t need to know that. He smiles at Baekhyun, his eyes crinkling again devastatingly, and Baekhyun feels a tug around his chest area. _Fuck._

"Great! Let’s find a place near the front, I promised him I’d wave."

 The open space is already pretty crowded, but Joonmyun still diplomatically manages to navigate through the sea of people with formal apologies and warm smiles. Baekhyun wonders if Joonmyun knows how much his smile brightens up his whole face.

Out of the corner of his eye, Baekhyun senses movement. He turns his head slowly, watching in horror as Chanyeol obnoxiously waves him over. Baekhyun shakes his head once, and watches as Tao’s eyes narrow. He wonders if they’d seen him with Joonmyun coming down the stairs. He kind of hopes so, because if they have any tact at all, they’ll have the common sense to leave him alone.

The first performer comes on then. Joonmyun’s friend? The man has tousled hair and when he smiles at the crowd, Baekhyun sees dimples. He introduces himself in Chinese first, then English. His name is Zhang Yixing from Changsha province in China, and he’s going to be performing some acoustic classics.

Joonmyun claps especially loud after the introduction, going so far as cheering which makes Baekhyun smile. How cute.

"How did you meet Yixing?" Baekhyun asks as the music starts. It’s soft, nice, definitely not what Baekhyun was expecting.

"He went to Juilliard," Joonmyun says and Baekhyun raises a brow. "Studied dance. I met him through my work."

"Your work?" Baekhyun thinks back to the briefcase at the coffee shop and tries to link it in with dance somehow. Could Joonmyun be a dancer too? Baekhyun scrutinizes him, ignoring the way Joonmyun smiles in confusion. No, he doesn’t look it, but who is Baekhyun to judge? "Are you a dancer, then? Or… you teach at Juilliard?"

"Nope." Joonmyun shakes his head, looking a little sheepish. "Believe it or not, I’m a music producer. Most people think I’m a professor for some reason."

Baekhyun’s insides twist up just a little bit as he hears the words _music producer._ Is this… is this real? Baekhyun’s dream job is becoming a music producer, although he has no idea how he’s going to get there. He’s a sound technician at the moment, and although he enjoys it, he wants to move up.

"Oh wow," Baekhyun’s voice wobbles a little. "I’m in the music industry, too, but not…" he clears his throat. "Have you produced anything I’ve heard of?" Baekhyun imagines Joonmyun having brunch with high-end celebrities, discussing their newest singles over a martini.

Joonmyun shrugs, not looking at Baekhyun. "Maybe." He pauses dramatically, eyeing Baekhyun. "If you like metal."

"Metal… as in… the genre?" Baekhyun blinks, the perfect image of Joonmyun shattering. "You don’t—"

"I don’t look like I produce metal, do I?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "I don’t know why people always make assumptions about me. I must look a certain way."

Yeah, he does. He looks like he eats caviar for breakfast and drives a Mercedes. Plus his clothes make him look like he’s in a permanent business meeting. But Baekhyun likes… _some_ metal. The kind you can dance to at an underground club.

"It’s the sweaters, gotta be," Baekhyun points out. "My dad wears argyle and he teaches math."

Joonmyun’s face crumples just a bit and he looks down at his sweater sadly. "You think… I look like someone’s dad?"

Oh shit. "No! No, of course not!" Baekhyun’s hands flail around. "I meant that… that maybe you dress like a dad. Maybe. It’s not a bad look for you, not at all."

Joonmyun doesn’t look convinced. He stays quiet for a while, enjoying Yixing’s soft songs, and Baekhyun tries to get into it too but his heart is racing in case he’s accidentally upset Joonmyun.

Yixing has a nice voice. Baekhyun can’t understand what he’s singing about, but he enjoys it nonetheless. By the time his set is done and the next musician comes on, Baekhyun figures he should get back to his friends — after all, the longer he spends with Joonmyun, the higher the chance of Chanyeol or Tao coming over to obnoxiously introduce themselves and ask who Joonmyun is.

"That was… surprisingly good," Baekhyun comments as Yixing bows, leaving the stage. "What was he singing? Chinese folk songs?"

"Nah, just some songs from the nineties," Joonmyun says. "I should go meet him, he wanted to see the rest of the show."

"Actually I should probably look for my friends," Baekhyun says offhandedly. "I don’t want them to leave without me."

"Ah, yes. Your roommate and your friends." Joonmyun nods. "They’re probably missing you."

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say. He’s been getting on well with Joonmyun, what now? Does he ask for his number? Ask to see him again? Baekhyun’s palms sweat a little at the prospect, because he doesn’t want to sound like he’s asking Joonmyun on a date. Baekhyun has no idea of his preferences, and…

"You’re right," he takes a hesitant step back. "So I should get going. It was nice seeing you again, Joonmyun."

"You too, Baekhyun," Joonmyun smiles at him, but there’s nothing in his face that suggests yearning… so maybe he’s not that interested in Baekhyun. "Perhaps we’ll see each other again."

Baekhyun smiles at that, heart wrenching as he turns from Joonmyun’s face, almost trudging back to his friends.

"Who was that?" Jongin asks the moment Baekhyun is in hearing distance. "Someone you know?"

"Baekhyun doesn’t know him," Tao shakes his head. "If he did, I’d know his face. I know all of his friends."

"He was… nobody," Baekhyun says dejectedly. "Did you guys wanna stay for the next act, or…?"

"Let’s stay a little longer," Chanyeol suggests, surprisingly refraining from asking personal questions. "We can go to KFC after. I know Jongin is gagging for it."

Jongin smacks his arm but they all laugh. Baekhyun can’t help the way his eyes wander back to where he came to see if Joonmyun is still around somewhere, but it looks like he’s gone, out of the expo and out of his life yet again.

♦◇♦◇♦

Baekhyun plays Sims. He plays a lot of Sims. He loads up the game whenever he can, making BaekSim travel to every community lot in the neighborhood with the hopes that Suho Sim will turn up. He does, a lot of the time, and they get on well. They’re friends now, so BaekSim can invite Suho Sim to his house. They hang out watching TV and eating autumn salad until Suho Sim goes home, and Baekhyun always sighs when he leaves, because he can imagine how BaekSim feels.

In between Sims, Baekhyun goes to work. He works for a record label and had done a little snooping to see if, by some miracle of a chance, Joonmyun is a record producer for the label. He’s not, though, of course, so that leaves Baekhyun with no leads at all. He’d kind of hoped that by instructing his sim to meet with Suho Sim more often, Joonmyun would suddenly reappear in his life again. He doesn’t, but it’s not for a lack of trying.

Why didn’t Baekhyun just ask for his number? Or add him on Facebook?? Everyone adds everyone on Facebook these days, so it’s not like it would have been some weird creepy request. Maybe Joonmyun isn’t on Facebook, though, because Baekhyun guesses he’s a bit older.

Tao finally twigs that something’s wrong over dinner one night, reaching out to pat Baekhyun’s face gently as he’s chewing a mouthful of dumplings.

"Cheer up, Baekhyun, you’ve been looking sad lately," he says amicably. "Is something wrong?"

Baekhyun hadn’t divulged to his roommate about Joonmyun. Of course, they’d asked who he was, but Baekhyun had come up with an excuse about how he was a guy who worked at his label. Baekhyun’s not sure if they’d believed it… but at least it _was_ believable.

"Well…" he pushes the dumplings on his plate around with his chopsticks. "You know how… I’ve been playing Sims lately?"

"…Yes?" Tao blinks. "How is that— yes, carry on."

Baekhyun shuffles in his seat. "Well… I made my ideal man on it." He cringes at the narrowing of Tao’s eyes. "Don’t judge me! I made my ideal man on it and… he sort of appeared in real life, too."

Tao is silence for a few seconds. "So… you found some guy you like in real life because he looks like a _sim_ you made?"

"No!" Baekhyun groans. "The sim was made based on my ideal type, and I met a guy that’s my ideal type. Like, looks wise as well as personality."

"Oh." Tao sets his chopsticks down. " _Oh._ So you have a crush on someone, huh?" He leans forward over the table. "I hope this one is better than the last guy you brought home."

"Joonmyun is nothing like that!" Baekhyun’s ex had had mommy issues and a kink for voyeurism, to Tao’s dismay. "He’s a nice guy! 

" _Joonmyun,_ huh? So he’s Korean?" Tao asks. "What does he look like? Does he have a nice job? Which part of the city does he live in?"

"He’s a record producer," Baekhyun says reluctantly. "He… he was the guy I was with at the culture event the other day. His friend was the first performer."

"The argyle sweater dude? That’s your crush?" Tao says with more incredulity than Baekhyun would like. "Interesting. So he’s a producer at your label?"

"Not… exactly," Baekhyun sighs, shoulders sagging. "I don’t know where he works. I told you guys that he worked at my label so you’d get off my back about where I knew him. Truth is, I know nothing about him aside from his name, his job, and that he’s been to China twice."

"I’m confused. How do you know him then?"

Baekhyun thinks back to Joonmyun’s forlorn expression after being pelted by all that rain. "At a coffee shop. It was raining and I took cover indoors."

"And you invited him to the culture event?" Tao asks incredulously. "You could have told me you were bringing a date!"

" _No_ ," Baekhyun protests. "He went to see his friend perform. I had no idea he was going, and I didn’t get his number or anything, so now I’ll never see him again."

"Have you tried looking him up on Facebook?" Tao asks, and Baekhyun shakes his head. He’d wanted to, but hadn’t gotten around to it. He has a sneaky suspicion that someone like Joonmyun, like Suho Sim, has a partner to get back to. "Well lets look!"

"We shouldn’t!" Baekhyun shakes his head vigorously. "I’m just some guy he’s met by chance twice and it would be weird if I added him out of the blue. Plus I have no idea if he’s, y’know, gay or anything like that. Even if I added him, what would I say?"

Tao already has his phone out and he’s tapping away. "What’s his last name?"

"Tao!" Baekhyun sets his chopsticks down, reaching over in an attempt to grab his phone. Tao holds it out of arms’ reach, grinning. "Tao, please don’t look him up. It’s embarrassing."

A tiny part of Baekhyun hopes that Joonmyun has a Facebook account, because that means it’s easier to Internet stalk him. Baekhyun feels really dumb, but he just wants to talk to Joonmyun again, see his ugly sweaters and pure smile.

"Just give me his name. I’m not gonna add him, we’ll just have a look," Tao says as if _just a look_ isn’t going to drive Baekhyun mad with curiosity.

Baekhyun shuffles around to Tao’s side of the table, gazing dejectedly into the screen of his phone. "His name is Joonmyun Ki,."

Tao inputs the name, and Baekhyun is surprised to see several search results. There seem to be quite a few Joonmyun Kims in New York… but none of them are _Joonmyun_. Two of the profiles have actual photos, the others have no avatars, which usually means the account is dead or something.

"None of these are him," Baekhyun says, heart sinking a little. "Guess he’s not on Facebook."

Tao isn’t about to give up though, closing Facebook and opening his Internet browser. "Well if he’s a music producer, there’s bound to be record of him _somewhere._ " Tao glances up at him, eyes sparkling. "What kind of music does he produce? That’ll help narrow the search."

Baekhyun groans, dragging his face down his hands. "He told me he produces metal music. Please, let’s not—"

But Tao has already typed _joonmyun kim metal_ into the searchbar, the results appearing near instantaneously. Tao clicks on the first link, a Wikipedia page, and Baekhyun cranes closer to get a better look.

The article is a stub, but there’s some useful information. Baekhyun tries to commit all the facts to memory so that he can use them to get a better mental image of who Joonmyun is.

So according to the article, Joonmyun is thirty four years old. That surprises Baekhyun a little, but whatever. He was born in Seoul and moved to New York when he was six years old. He’s produced a few full length albums under Exodus Records, written several songs and can also play the piano. There’s a link to the record label’s website, so Baekhyun may do some snooping later to see if he can find out anything more.

"Thirty four?" Tao whistles. "That’s sugar daddy material there."

"Oh shut up," Baekhyun smacks Tao’s head playfully, returning to his side of the table. "He’s cute. I want to get to know him better."

"Well, you know where he works," Tao points out, pointing a chopstick at Baekhyun. "Send flowers. Or, y’know, something less flashy."

The thought of Baekhyun sending flowers to Joonmyun’s workplace has his cheeks flushing. He thinks of Joonmyun on the receiving end of a bouquet of wildflowers, reading the accompanying card, his face falling as he realizes that a near-stranger sent them. Baekhyun would never, ever do something like that, because it’s just not him. He’d feel awkward if a bouquet of flowers showed up at his work, regardless of who sent them. 

But… sending something to his work doesn’t have to be romantic. Or creepy, in fact. Maybe Baekhyun _could_ send something, like a notecard saying he enjoyed seeing him at the culture event…?

Baekhyun sighs. No, no matter how he looks at it, it’s _creepy._

"I can’t," Baekhyun shakes his head. "What am I supposed to say? _'Hey Joonmyun, thanks for giving me a good time at the culture event. Perhaps I can give you a good time in the future?'_ " He laughs humorlessly. "There’s no way around this."

Tao is just… looking at him. Pitifully. Baekhyun huffs, glaring back.

"You could just send a note saying you listened to his stuff and became inspired," Tao offers. "Tell him you want to become a music producer too and ask if he’d like to meet up and offer you advice or something. You could leave your number or email address and then it’s up to him to decide."

Oh. Well. That’s… not bad, surprisingly. They had spoken about music, briefly, until Baekhyun had inadvertently insulted him with the dad comment. Yeah, he’ll send a note. That way, if Joonmyun isn’t interested in meeting up, there’s no way he can reject Baekhyun directly and Baekhyun won’t have to see the flustered look on his face as he explains that he’s married.

Baekhyun has some notecards in his drawer. After dinner he’ll write one… and then all he can do is hope for the best.

♦◇♦◇♦

A week passes. Baekhyun hasn’t heard from Joonmyun, and he’s starting to think that he never will. He hadn’t expected to really - he’d hoped of course, but what reason would a grown man with a good job have to offer Baekhyun, the nobody, advice? Baekhyun stares longingly at Suho Sim and BaekSim hanging out, and tries not to get too caught up about it.

♦◇♦◇♦

"Honestly, Baekhyun, you really should get the Switch," Chanyeol says through a messy mouthful of chocolate muffin, crumbs falling down his face. "Then maybe we can all play together."

"No thanks," Baekhyun mumbles. "Tao already has one so he can post videos to his YouTube channel but it’s not my thing at all."

"But you must be lonely cooped up in your room playing Battlefield and Sims," Chanyeol complains as Baekhyun flinches at the forbidden word. "They’re releasing all kinds of cool new games. Jongin is super excited for it."

"You should spend more time concentrating on grad school than playing games," Baekhyun mutters bitterly, sipping at his hot chocolate. "Games suck. They’re a waste of time."

Chanyeol leans over the small, coffee shop table, eyeing Baekhyun carefully. "Who are you and what have you done with Byunbaek? You _love_ playing games. I’m pretty sure you spend every waking moment when you’re not working on that computer of yours, unless of course you’re mas—"

Baekhyun shoots him a sharp look. "Shut it, Park. Go run off back to college so I can spend the rest of my day off _alone._ "

Chanyeol grins too widely, showing off the attractive piece of muffin that’s gotten lodged in his teeth. "I love spending free periods hanging out with my favorite person in the world. Besides, it’s not like you’d be doing anything else other than games. Oh, but wait. _Games are a waste of time._ "

Baekhyun kicks Chanyeol from under the table, scowling. He’s right, though, because Baekhyun is shallow and has no other hobbies. He should really take up something interesting, like baking. 

The ring of his phone distracts him and he doesn’t check the number as he picks up, holding a finger up to signal to Chanyeol to _be quiet._ "Hello?"

"Baekhyun?" Comes a soft voice. "Hi, it’s Joonmyun Kim!"

Baekhyun suddenly goes cold, palms getting clammy. _Fuck._ It’s been two weeks since he sent the notecard, and he’d thought Joonmyun had been pretty clear with his silence about where he and Baekhyun stood.

He ignores Chanyeol’s concerned look as he mutters back a choked "hi", clearing his throat and trying again. "I wasn’t expecting you to call."

"I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to call or send you a text but I’ve been so busy the past two weeks," he says vaguely. "I thought the notecard you sent was very sweet. I’m glad you look up to me so much." 

That kind of sounds like the premise to a rejection, and Baekhyun can’t help but hold his breath as Joonmyun continues. "…I was wondering if you happened to be free today? I know it’s a weekday and I know you probably have work, but—"

"I’m free!" Baekhyun gasps quickly, forgetting all about Chanyeol and his muffin. "It’s my day off."

"Great!" Joonmyun sounds so happy, and Baekhyun smiles like an idiot. "Do you want to come to my studio? I can show you what I’ve been working on and give you some pointers if you’d like?"

"I’d like that," Baekhyun says. "What time?"

"I’m free all day, actually," Joonmyun says. "So come by whenever you like. I’m guessing you know the address."

Baekhyun does, vaguely. It’s somewhere in Lower Manhattan, but he can just look it up again. "Yes, I do… I’ll come soon."

"Great! I’ll see you there!" Baekhyun imagines Joonmyun’s soft smile, eyes crinkling around the edges. "Bye, Baekhyun."

"Bye," Baekhyun says dizzily, hanging up. Chanyeol is staring at him, and Baekhyun dares not look up in case it shows how flustered he is.

"Oh my god," Chanyeol says, deep voice dumbfounded. "That was the boyfriend, wasn’t it?"

"He’s not my boyfriend!" Baekhyun says, voice a little high with excitement. "But… he does want to meet me. In his studio. Like, now. 

Chanyeol raises a brow. "That seems… suave. Those places are soundproofed, so have fun."

"Shut _up,_ Chanyeol," Baekhyun mutters. "I’m not going there to have sex with him. I mean, I wouldn’t say no, but…" Baekhyun, legs wrapped around Joonmyun’s waist as he’s fucked against the wall… "I just want to see him. I really do want him to advise me in my career, because if you haven’t already noticed, it’s not going great."

"Well go, then," Chanyeol encourages, pulling out his phone. "But I’m texting Tao right now to tell him. You better put your phone on silent unless you want your cover blown."

Baekhyun is a mix of nervous and eager as he leaves the coffee shop, pulling on the sleeves of his sweater gingerly. He hopes it doesn’t show.

♦◇♦◇♦

"Baekhyun," Joonmyun grins when he sees him. "You came."

"Of course," Baekhyun responds, standing up from the sofa he’d been sitting on while he waited in reception. "I hope this isn’t an inconvenience…"

"It’s not," Joonmyun gestures towards the elevator. "I just finished a project so I have some downtime now. Maybe I’ll show you a little of what I’ve been working on."

"Okay," Baekhyun nods, walking towards the elevator. It’s key-card operated, Baekhyun notes as Joonmyun uses a card to activate it.

They stand in silence as the elevator takes them up, stopping at the fourth floor. Baekhyun hesitantly walks out, not knowing what to expect, but it’s just an average corridor. Of course. The building he works at is basically set up the same, what _else_ was he expecting?

"So tell me about your job," Joonmyun says amicably, leading Baekhyun to his studio. "You said you worked in the music industry but you didn’t specify what it is that you do."

"I’m a sound technician," Baekhyun explains. "I work for a small recording studio in Brooklyn. Mostly independent stuff… but I want to be a producer some day. I just don’t know how to get there."

"Well, do you know how to use any music-making programs?" Joonmyun abruptly stops, opening a door on the left and ushering Baekhyun in. "That’s usually a good place to start."

Baekhyun glances around Joonmyun’s studio in awe. It’s smaller than he’d thought it would be, but it’s cozy and the temperature is just right. "I can use Pro Tools, but people these days keep telling me that it’s outdated."

"There’s nothing wrong with Pro Tools," Joonmyun remarks, sitting down in one of the seats. Baekhyun sits next to him even though he feels like he’s going to sully the seats with his inexperience. "Most people want something quick and easy. Pro Tools can be that, but to get the most out of it you need to have a really extensive knowledge about everything that it can do. There are so many keyboard shortcuts that get overlooked simply because people want to get on and make their music. You can’t make the best music, though, if you don’t make the best out of your software."

Baekhyun nods, making a mental note of this. He has no idea if he knows all the keyboard shortcuts but will make sure he looks them up. "Do you use Pro Tools?"

Joonmyun nods, grinning as he gestures to his screen. Pro Tools is up, but Baekhyun had been paying too much attention to the studio in general, and to Joonmyun’s face.

"Pro Tools suits me best for what I do. I hear a lot of wannabe producers these days complain about it because it doesn’t have VST support without knowing that the VST standard was designed by one of its competitors. I hope you’re not as picky."

"I don’t care," Baekhyun says, trying not to make it so obvious that he’s staring at Joonmyun as Joonmyun fiddles around on his computer. He’s wearing a dark red sweater today which is much better than the argyle one, yet it still encompasses that _Joonmyun_ style. His hair falls softly over his forehead, not styled today as it had been the first two times they’d met.

"Great." Joonmyun smiles at him. "I’m not used to having people in my studio that I don’t work with, so sorry if I seem a little distracted. I cleaned up a little before you came but I’m still worried that I won’t meet up to your expectations."

Baekhyun takes another look around. The studio is spotless, everything exactly where it should be save for a pink bunny mug next to Joonmyun’s computer. There’s no other evidence of any personal items.

"I’m… not really expecting anything?" Baekhyun offers. "Like, I’m expecting music and that’s that. I listened to some of the stuff you did and while I don’t usually like metal, I kind of listened to it analytically?" Baekhyun had broken down the lyrics and the complex beats to try and figure out what Joonmyun had been feeling and thinking when he wrote the song. It seems he usually writes more melancholic songs. Baekhyun wonders if he’s sad.

"What did you think?" Joonmyun asks, a hint of self-doubt flashing in his eyes. "Did you like it?"

"I did." Baekhyun nods genuinely. "What you write is really melancholic. Ballads. I like ballads, sometimes, just as a casual listen. I go to rock clubs sometimes as well and I was actually surprised to learn that some of the stuff there was produced by you. It… kind of makes me feel like I’m hanging out with a celebrity."

Joonmyun laughs, and the sound is like bells. He looks so pure when he laughs. Baekhyun doesn’t know why he makes that assumption, because for all he knows, Joonmyun could be part of a satanic cult, but…

"Celebrity? You flatter me," he’s grinning, and Baekhyun’s lips automatically twist up into a grin as well. "People have told me my music is too sad but that’s why I produce this kind of stuff as opposed to the popular stuff you hear on the radio. Most of the artists I work with write their own music, and they’re good, but everyone needs a little help sometimes, right?" Joonmyun fiddles with something on the computer. "Would you like to listen to what I’ve just finished? It’s not going to be released for a while but I’m dying to show someone out of the loop."

"I’d love to," Baekhyun says, wondering how Joonmyun writes his songs. He should ask him, but it seems a little personal, so maybe later.

Joonmyun presses play, the opening chords of a somber melody sounding on guitar. The sound is crisp through the speakers, and Baekhyun relaxes into his seat, really concentrating instead of just listening.

It’s a really nice song, Baekhyun thinks. The vocals are clean and he can really feel the emotion behind it. At least, he thinks he can. He might be giving Joonmyun lots of praise because of his crush, but it’s worth it, because Joonmyun really does have talent.

When it finishes, Joonmyun smiles nervously at Baekhyun. It’s so _cute._ "Did you like it…? That was the only track on the album I personally wrote, but I produced the entire thing."

"What were you thinking when you wrote it?" Baekhyun asks before he can stop himself, then he cringes. Ah, yes. Why not just ask what color underwear he’s wearing, too? "I mean, I know that might be a personal question, but…"

Joonmyun shakes his head, looking pleased. "It’s okay, Baekhyun. You can ask me anything." He purses his lips, deep in thought. "I actually wrote that song when I was in Jeju taking a vacation. I had a lot on my mind and it all came out in the form of song."

Baekhyun knows how personal songwriting can be. He’s written several, and when Tao had found them in his notebook and read them out loud, Baekhyun had almost cried. Tao hadn’t meant any harm, but it’s like he was unravelling Baekhyun’s very essence.

"I’ve written a few," Baekhyun says a little unwillingly. His songwriting is oddly private, but he knows he’ll have to share it if he ever wants to get somewhere. Maybe that’s what’s holding him back. "Melodies for the guitar. I can play them on piano, too, but—"

"You play?" Joonmyun presses, and Baekhyun nods. "That’s great! I was going to ask if you play an instrument, because that’ll really help you along. Can I… hear something of yours? Or is it private?"

"Private," Baekhyun replies, his cheeks flushing. "For now. I… I feel like my songs show a different side of me than I’d like other people to see. Most people see me as confident, talkative, the kind of guy who is happy with his life and knows what he’s talking about. I’m really sociable, and I’m good at making jokes and getting people to like me but that’s mostly because I don’t want to talk about me."

It all comes out in a rush, but Joonmyun nods his head in understanding. "My parents both work in the medical field. My father is an urologist and my mother is a psychiatrist. My brother went to college to become a surgeon, and there were high hopes for me, too. My mother especially wasn’t happy when I chose to do a degree in Music Business, but she came around a little because it was still _business_ , so I’d still be able to make money. She doesn’t speak to me anymore, though, because I ended up disappointing her." He sighs, rolling his eyes. "She thinks I’ve become too westernized, that I don’t uphold Korean values. I had to remind her that it was her choice to move us to America, not mine."

"So you… don’t speak to your family?" Baekhyun hedges. "Do they live around here?"

"I speak to my brother from time to time, birthdays and Christmas. My parents generally like to pretend I don’t exist, though," he grins. "That’s okay. Means I don’t have to spend money on them for Christmas. And they’re not from around here, no. My family lives in San Francisco."

Baekhyun can’t imagine what he’d do if his family cut him off like that. Joonmyun must be a strong person to be able to smile about it.

"Well," Baekhyun comments, because he doesn’t know what else to say, "at least you have music?"

"At I have music, yes," Joonmyun rests his elbow on the desk, chin leaning on his hand as he gives Baekhyun his full attention. "I’m curious. How old are you, Baekhyun?"

"Twenty three," Baekhyun replies.

"Is that all?" Joonmyun raises a brow. "I thought you were maybe a bit older… but never mind. You’re still young enough to live your life to the fullest without having to worry too much about responsibility. That’s good. Get all the life experience you can and save it up for when you start seriously writing your songs."

Baekhyun has always wanted to take a real vacation out of the States but had never really gotten around to it. Vacations with his parents don't count, seeing as for the most part, he had to do what they wanted. "Don’t talk like that. You’re basically saying that you’re too old to live life like that now — you’re not _that_ old."

"I’m not saying that I’m too old to live life to the fullest… but I’m probably too old to make mistakes now. I’m thirty four and getting older every day," Joonmyun’s smile slips just enough for Baekhyun to notice. "I’ve made enough mistakes to last me a lifetime though, so I like to think that I’m fairly experienced when it comes to life in general."

"Oh yeah?" Baekhyun leans forward. He can’t imagine Joonmyun being anything less than perfect. "What kind of mistakes have _you_ made?"

"Aside from studying myself to death so I could get into pre-med, I used to be married," Joonmyun says matter-of-factly, and Baekhyun’s heart twists, his stomach dropping. It’s a stupid reaction though, because what was he thinking? There’s no way Joonmyun would like men, let alone like Baekhyun. Perfect guys don’t go for Baekhyun. "I wanted to make my mom happy but in the end I just couldn’t go through with medicine, so I transferred to Berklee after a year. That’s where I met my ex-wife. We were married for five years before I realized my mistake and… left."

"Ah," Baekhyun says, his voice wobblier than it should be. "Yeah, I… guess I understand." Actually he doesn’t, because he’s never had anything close to a serious relationship let alone marriage. "She wasn’t the girl for you?" 

Joonmyun shakes his head. "She was Chinese, from Shanghai, so already that didn’t sit well with my mother. She played the _guzheng_ and I thought she was really sweet at first… but she wasn’t. She wanted a good life, as in _extremely_ good life and would always complain about how our kitchen was outdated or that we didn’t have enough money to go to expensive hotels around various parts of the world, so eventually it got too much for me. Oddly enough, that’s around the time my mother started to break contact with me as she doesn’t believe in divorce."

"Are you seeing anyone now?" Baekhyun asks before he can stop himself. "I mean, maybe if you married someone Korean, your mother would have a reason to talk to you again…"

Joonmyun smirks. "I don’t think marriage is for me. Too much pressure, and I’d rather just look after myself. I don’t want children, just pets. I’m pretty happy with things the way they are now… how about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

"Nope," Baekhyun smacks his lips at the last syllable. "Relationships aren’t worth my time. It’s funny how in a city this size it’s impossible to find someone who is genuine."

"You’ll find someone," Joonmyun encourages. "Someone sweet like you will be snatched up in no time, you just have to wait for the right person."

Baekhyun sourly thinks that maybe Joonmyun could have been the right person, but then, what was he expecting from a crush? It did exactly as advertised: crush him.

He tries to push all of these ~Joonmyun feelings~ out of his mind for the time being. Hopefully then he can get through the rest of today without wishing things were different.

♦◇♦◇♦

"How was it?" Tao asks the minute Baekhyun opens the door, as if he’s been waiting. "Tell me everything!"

Baekhyun barges past Tao, dropping his bag and coat to the floor. "We didn’t fuck, if that’s what you’re getting at."

"But it went well, right?" Tao tails Baekhyun as he walks to the living room. "Did you flirt over turntables and empty Starbucks?"

"We did _not_ flirt," Baekhyun marches to the kitchen. "But I had a good time. A really good time."

Joonmyun had been so kind, and so helpful, too. He’d shown Baekhyun the rest of the album, playing it in the background as he went through the dos and don’ts of music producing. He’d demonstrated to Baekhyun exactly what his equipment did and explained how best to use it. It was a long while of Joonmyun talking about what he loved the most, and Baekhyun had lapped it up.

"That sounds promising," Tao encourages. "Ask him out for drinks."

Baekhyun shakes his head. "It’s _not_ promising. He’s divorced. He was telling me about his ex-wife."

"Oh," Tao says, revulsion laced in his voice. "Well. That’s a shame." He pats Baekhyun on the shoulder. "Guess you never have to see him again."

"I want to see him again," Baekhyun sighs, stretching his feet out to the coffee table. "He’s smart, and he’s funny, too. He’s teaching me about music production so that I can further my career. I don’t want to write him off just because there’s no romantic future for us."

Tao shrugs. "Your funeral. I’m just saying that the longer you spend with him, the more your crush will grow… pretty soon you’ll lock yourself in your room with nothing but his sim keeping you company…"

Baekhyun whacks him. "Shut _up_ , Tao. I’m going to make this work without falling for him, trust me. How hard can it be?"

♦◇♦◇♦

Baekhyun meets up with Joonmyun for coffee the following week in the coffee shop where they’d first met. It is here that Baekhyun starts to see a more personal side of Joonmyun, a side that enjoys watching the Food Network, taking walks to different parts of the city and taking care of his dog. A few days later, Joonmyun calls him up, asking about a music show that Baekhyun might want to see in about a month. They end up talking for about two hours, Baekhyun looking through his window from the bed, and he wonders if Joonmyun is in his own bed, too, somewhere in the city.

Some nights Baekhyun gets lonely, and he can’t help but slide his hand under his boxers to touch himself, Joonmyun’s face always creeping into his mind as he strokes his erection. He feels guilty getting off to Joonmyun, because Joonmyun should be respected more than _this_ , but it’s not like he does it on purpose.

Without quite realizing it, Baekhyun and Joonmyun fall into an easy friendship, texting each other here and there throughout the day. It starts off as just music-talk, but eventually things relax into easy chatter, Joonmyun texting him when it’s raining to take an umbrella out, or sending him pictures of Swiss roll that he picked up from the Chinese bakery. Every time Baekhyun gets a text, he grins from ear-to-ear, and Tao has started to pick up on it.

"Joonmyun again?" He asks as Baekhyun’s phone chimes, the message making his tummy flop. The butterflies just won’t go away, but he’s stopped caring now.

_don’t forget to wrap up warm today! i hear it’s going to be windy~_

"Maybe," Baekhyun replies, pulling his phone closer so Tao can’t see from the other side of the sofa.

Tao rolls his eyes. "This friendship is getting a little weird. You’re spending so much time together these days, it’s unsettling."

"No we haven’t." They went to a jazz museum last week, and for lunch at a fancy café that Joonmyun paid for. There was also the walk around Central Park, where Joonmyun instructed Baekhyun to collect inspiration, and Baekhyun just _might_ have hastily scribbled the chorus to a new song later that night, the memory of Joonmyun in a button-up as opposed to his standard sweater fresh in his mind. "We’re just hanging out. You never want to do things which don’t involve getting food."

"Neither do you," Tao rests his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. "But now that Joonmyun is asking, you’re all over the place. I thought you _hated_ museums."

"It was a music museum, Tao… I like music, sooooo…" Baekhyun drags the word out, his phone chiming again after. Joonmyun.

_i was wondering if maybe you wanted to come out with me on saturday night? i’m going to a nightclub called club evolution… look it up and get back to me, okay?_

Huh. Baekhyun hasn’t heard of that one before. "Hey Tao, do you know where Club Evolution is?"

Tao, busily replying to YouTube comments on his phone, turns sharply. He sets his phone down in the middle of a comment and grabs Baekhyun’s before he can say anything.

" _Please_ tell me you’re joking, Baek," he titters as he reads the message Joonmyun just sent, Baekhyun’s feeble attempts to get the phone back not working at all. "Oh my god. He’s actually invited you _there._ "

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun snatches his phone back. "What’s wrong with Club Evolution? Is it fancy or something?"

Tao just blinks very slowly. "Baekhyun," he says delicately, "you know that’s a gay club… right?"

Baekhyun’s heart races and he looks down at his phone, reading the message again and again. That… it doesn’t make sense. Why would Joonmyun invite him to a gay club, of all places? Baekhyun hadn’t disclosed his sexuality and Joonmyun is straight. He was married, for Christ’s sake.

"Why would he invite me to a gay club?" Baekhyun rushes. "He doesn’t know I’m gay."

"Well he clearly is. Or maybe he’s bi. Or, maybe, he just wants to hang out at the gay club with a cute younger guy, who’ll be wearing his tightest jeans, just for a laugh." Tao’s eyes narrow. "You can figure it out, but the point is, he’s inviting you to a gay club. If you agree to go with him, I’m pretty sure that’d be the equivalent of telling him your preferences."

Baekhyun’s thoughts are buzzing around too much for him to think clearly. He chews on his lip absentmindedly - could it be true? Baekhyun knows that not only gay people go to gay clubs, but Joonmyun could have picked literally anywhere else in the entirety of New York.

It’s not as if any of this actually matters. Baekhyun is still going, because it’s _Joonmyun_ asking, and he’d go anywhere with Joonmyun just to bask in the man’s eternal glow. He quickly types back a message on his phone, ignoring the way Tao is side-eyeing him

_sure, sounds gd. let me know wot time & where we cn meet. _

His heart is pounding with excitement. This is good. Him, Joonmyun, dancing at a club… alcohol… maybe he can get tipsy enough that he’ll feel confident in expressing his crush. At least in the setting of a gay club, it wouldn’t be a total blindside…

"If you’re seriously going to go," Tao chides, "you need to do something about that hair of yours. Get it cut."

Baekhyun’s hand lifts to his head, fingering his hair in a daze. It’ll do. After all… what is he really expecting?

♦◇♦◇♦

Baekhyun takes the subway on Saturday night, wishing that he hadn’t. It’s dark now, and the usual flush of workers has been replaced by partygoers, some even more glammed up than Baekhyun is. He’d put some liner on, a little BB cream as well as his tightest jeans (on Tao’s command). His color contacts are starting to make his eyes dry, but it could be the bright light irritating them. He’s not used to going out looking like this, but he’d thought fuck it, why not? He rarely gets the chance to dress up as it is.

He passes at least a dozen Italian takeouts on the walk from the station to the club. The cool breeze does nothing to cool his mood, though - with each step he takes, his heart speeds up. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous about meeting Joonmyun here, but it’s probably something to do with the uncertainty of the situation. Tonight could mean a lot of things, or it could mean nothing, and he _needs to stop thinking about it_. The more he thinks about it, the more of a _thing_ it becomes.

Joonmyun had arranged to meet Baekhyun outside the club at ten. It’s quarter past now, and Baekhyun sees him as he approaches, dressed in a casual shirt and tight jeans. They’re not as tight as Baekhyun’s, buy the toned shape of Joonmyun’s thigh is evident through the material.

"Sorry I’m late," Baekhyun says, distracting Joonmyun from something on his phone. Joonmyun looks up at him, his eyes widening just a little as he takes Baekhyun’s image in. "I lost one of my shoes and had to dig under my bed to find it."

"That’s… okay," Joonmyun smiles warmly. "You look… are you wearing eyeliner?"

"Yeah," Baekhyun nods. "Has it smudged?"

Joonmyun gets a little closer, looking into Baekhyun’s eyes to check. Baekhyun’s heart stutters, even when Joonmyun shakes his head and takes a step back.

"No, you’re good. Wanna go inside?" He asks tentatively, running a hand through his hair. It looks soft. "I’ll buy you a drink."

It’s busy inside. Baekhyun doesn’t usually go to clubs unless they play the kind of music he likes, and he’s blown away by how many people are here already. The bar itself is crowded, Joonmyun having to nudge past several people just to get a place in line. He’s bobbing his head to the music, looking around casually as if they aren’t surrounded by numbers of muscled men in tank tops. His eyes don’t stray once.

"What do you want to drink?" Joonmyun has to shout twice before Baekhyun can hear him, his voice swept away with the bass.

"Double vodka and a mixer," Baekhyun replies in Joonmyun’s ear. "I don’t mind which."

Joonmyun eventually gets to the front, ordering two vodka and lemonades, passing Baekhyun his. Baekhyun sips at it, staying as close to Joonmyun as possible for fear of losing him.

He thinks they’ll go to dance, but Joonmyun drags him off to a table on the side, sliding into the booth seat. Baekhyun does the same, watching the other people go by.

"I’m surprised you agreed to come here with me," Joonmyun says, taking a drink. "I wasn’t sure… if this was your scene."

"Anything is my scene," Baekhyun replies, glancing at Joonmyun. "Life is boring if you stick to what you’re comfortable with."

"So does this make you… uncomfortable?" He seems to be choosing his words carefully, but Baekhyun shakes his head, shutting it down.

"No, definitely not. I have no problem with gay clubs at all," Baekhyun insists, trying to figure out how to fit the phrase _I’m gay_ into the sentence. "I’ve never actually been to one, though."

"I’ve been to… a few," Joonmyun admits. "Over the years."

There’s honesty in his eyes, Baekhyun thinks, although it’s a little too dark to tell. Is this his way of coming out to Baekhyun?

"I take it you didn’t come here with the ex-wife," he points out awkwardly, gulping his drink after. "I, uh… I have to ask—"

"My going to gay clubs was part of the reason we divorced, yes," Joonmyun nods calmly. "That’s also the main reason my mother stopped talking to me."

"I understand," Baekhyun had come out to his parents a while ago. They’d… objected at first, but eventually they came around, somewhat reluctantly. "I really do. Korean parents can be… funny about these sorts of things."

Joonmyun gives him a careful look. "You talk like you're speaking from experience." It's calculated, as if he doesn't really care what Baekhyun says in response, but Baekhyun feels like the answer matters _a lot._ Oh well, now's as good a time as any.

"Maybe I am." Another sip of his drink. It's all gone now, and the vodka burns. "What I'm saying is, it does get better. Time heals everything... but I guess you've already had time to heal."

Joonmyun is silent. The beat of the music provides a distraction so the silence isn't awkward. Baekhyun wonders if Joonmyun had already figured it out.

"Why don't we get some more drinks, hm?" Joonmyun offers, and Baekhyun nods thankfully. More alcohol ought to loosen the mood.

 _'More drinks'_ turns into Sourz Bombs, then a shot of tequila each.

Joonmyun grins as Baekhyun coughs at the rancid taste, but he orders another anyway. It goes down easier this time, even though Baekhyun feels like the taste is going to last all night.

About an hour after they arrive, Joonmyun's face lights up from across the table and he looks over Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun, curious, looks behind him. Two men have just come in, Asian, and when they look over Baekhyun's way, the taller of the two waves.

"My friends," Joonmyun explains, leaning over the table so Baekhyun can hear him. "Do you mind if they sit with us?"

"Of course not," Baekhyun says. "I guess there's room if we all squeeze up…"

Baekhyun ends up pressed against Joonmyun as the shorter of the two, blonder than Baekhyun, squeezes in next to him. The other man sits opposite where Baekhyun just was, elbows on the table as he leans forward.

"Joonmyun!" He says. "I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I'm here with a friend," Joonmyun says casually, angling his head to Baekhyun. "Kris, Lu Han, this is Baekhyun. Baekhyun, Kris and Lu Han."

"Hey," Baekhyun says timidly. The man called Kris looks him up and down, curious. Baekhyun can guess why, but he tries to push the thought out of his head as both men smile at him.

"You don’t usually bring friends here," Kris points out, eyes slowly moving from Baekhyun to Joonmyun. "That’s nice. Lu Han is buying the first round, aren’t you, Han?"

Lu Han groans, but stands up again, giving Baekhyun space to shuffle away from Joonmyun. He doesn’t.

♦◇♦◇♦

Baekhyun’s head is spinning. He’s lost count of how many shots they’ve had now, and when Lu Han tugs on his hand eagerly some time later, pulling him to the dance floor, he can’t find the words to say no. Not that he wants to, really, because he loves to dance.

Kris rolls his eyes, ushering Joonmyun up as well and soon the four of them are in the middle of the dance floor. Baekhyun dances with Lu Han, the alcohol making him feel more at ease, and he laughs when he looks over to see Joonmyun shaking his butt to the music. Joonmyun, poor Joonmyun, looks so out of place here compared to the other more seasoned club-goers. He can’t dance at all, and Baekhyun’s heart gushes at the sight. _Stop it!_ he screams at himself inwardly, turning back to Lu Han.

Baekhyun’s head is _pounding_ as he dances, and he really needs some water. He dances with Lu Han for a long time, then with Kris, and then they all join hands and dance together as though they’re teenagers or something, but Baekhyun can’t stop himself from laughing.

At some point, Lu Han disappears, maybe for more drinks. Kris follows him, so Baekhyun is left with Joonmyun, Joonmyun giving him his full attention.

"I’m sorry," Joonmyun leans forward, shouting in Baekhyun’s ear. The bass is so loud that Baekhyun can feel it in his throat. "I didn’t know my friends would be here tonight."

"Why are you sorry?" Baekhyun asks, slurring a little. "They’re fun."

Joonmyun smiles a little, backing off so there’s an arm’s length between them. They haven’t danced together yet, and honestly, Baekhyun had been putting it off because he knows that if he dances with Joonmyun then that’ll be it, his heart will burst out of his chest and he’ll have to try and explain to Joonmyun why it is that he’s so clingy. He thinks back to BaekSim and Suho Sim, dancing together at the SimFest when it meant nothing. This can mean nothing too, right?

Lu Han and Kris don’t come back, and somehow, Baekhyun ends up unceremoniously smushed against Joonmyun’s chest, the lack of space on the dance floor working against him. Joonmyun’s hands on his hips steady him, and he grins at Baekhyun’s shocked expression. Baekhyum mumbles out a 'sorry' but it gets lost in the song.

Joonmyun’s hands don’t leave his waist. For a while they dance like that, Baekhyun matching the slower, Joonmyun-paced swaying so they don’t fall over, but soon Baekhyun’s arms are around Joonmyun’s neck. It’s easier this way — Baekhyun is a terrible drunk and ends up on the floor more time than he’d like to think.

Baekhyun glances up at Joonmyun. Joonmyun is looking at him, eyes dark. Baekhyun would be stupid now to miss the intent there, but even in his drunk state he still can’t bring himself to _do anything,_ because Joonmyun is drunk, too, and he’s here with Baekhyun but that doesn’t _mean_ anything and—

Joonmyun’s lips against Baekhyun’s own has his heart beating in overdrive. Suddenly, as if somebody flicked a switch, all those uncertain thoughts seem to burn away at the feeling of Joonmyun’s warm, soft lips.

It takes all but one second for Baekhyun’s arms to tighten around Joonmyun’s neck, Joonmyun pulling Baekhyun flush against him, their bodies as close as humanly possible without the clothes falling off. Baekhyun whines against Joonmyun’s lips, subconsciously grinding against him as Joonmyun’s tongue pushes past the seam of Baekhyun’s lips.

This is the _last_ thing Baekhyun had expected to happen tonight. Of course, a tiny part had been hoping, but Joonmyun’s sexuality was on the fence and besides, why would he go for Baekhyun, anyway?

Baekhyun has no answer, but thinking is too difficult right now. Baekhyun focuses on Joonmyun, _only_ on Joonmyun, on the way he deepens the kiss, the way he grinds back slowly against Baekhyun like he knows what he’s doing, on the low moan that sounds from his throat. Baekhyun’s half-hard and fuck, he just _really_ wants to—

"Baekhyun…" Joonmyun pulls away from Baekhyun’s lips. It seems natural for Baekhyun to press his lips against Joonmyun’s neck, trailing slow, hot kisses down his skin. "Baekhyunnie, fuck…"

Baekhyun wants to grin at the drawn-out sound of his name, but it makes him harder, and he doesn’t know how to tell Joonmyun what he wants so he grinds again, harder, and hopes that Joonmyun can figure it out.

Through the bass, Baekhyun can feel his heart beating in his ears. His jeans feel uncomfortable now, too tight at the front, and he tugs gently on Joonmyun’s hair just as his teeth sink into his neck.

Joonmyun hisses, squeezing Baekhyun’s hips. "Baekhyun," he mutters again, but suddenly he’s pushing Baekhyun _away._ "Baekhyun, wait."

"What?" Baekhyun asks, biting his lip at the sight of Joonmyun’s ruffled appearance. "Can we get out of here, _please_?"

Joonmyun’s eyes are unreadable. He’s still holding Baekhyun’s hips, although keeping them at arm’s length. "Baekhyun, we’re drunk. You’re… you’re _really_ drunk."

"Yes," Baekhyun nods, his brow furrowing. "What’s your question? Isn’t this… why you brought me here? The _exact_ reason?"

Baekhyun thinks it must be, now. Baekhyun has no gay friends, but if he did, he’s pretty sure his gay friends would tell him they’re gay _before_ inviting him to a gay club.

Joonmyun looks a little taken aback. "It is, but… fuck, no, what am I saying? We’re _drunk,_ Baekhyun! This can’t happen."

"But I _want_ it to," Baekhyun’s hands wrap around Joonmyun’s wrists. "I know I’m drunk but I won’t regret it in the morning. I just… I need some water."

Heart beating too fast, Baekhyun suddenly realizes that this is going south, fast, and he grips Joonmyun’s wrists tighter at the prospect of rejection.

Joonmyun squeezes Baekhyun’s hips. He shakes his head. His mind seems to be saying one thing but his body is saying something else. "We can’t. That’s final, Baekhyun. I’m not doing this."

 _Oh._ Baekhyun’s stomach tumbles, rejection washing over him, making his body go cold. He wants to ask why, again, but the moment has gone and Baekhyun suddenly wants to be somewhere else, _anywhere_ else.

"Right," Baekhyun nods, taking a hesitant step back, his hands falling from Joonmyun. "Got it."

Joonmyun’s face falls. "No, Baekhyun, I don’t mean—"

"No, you don’t want me," Baekhyun says. He’d be surprised if Joonmyun can hear him over the music. "You invited me here because you wanted me, but as soon as you gave me enough courage to want you back, you just… don’t want me anymore. I get it." He laughs, once, completely fake. "I uh. I need to go home. Now. 

Baekhyun turns away before Joonmyun can say anything. He thinks Joonmyun calls out his name, but he’s too hurt to care and too drunk to process it.

Stumbling out of the club, Baekhyun intends to hail a cab, but as soon as the cool air hits his face and the realization of the situation he’s in sinks in, his stomach turns over. Before he can do anything about it, Baekhyun leans over, vomiting over the sidewalk.

♦◇♦◇♦

 Joonmyun calls and calls but Baekhyun doesn’t answer. Every time his phone chimes, Baekhyun dies a little inside. He’s _so_ embarrassed for the way he acted, from what he can remember, anyway. It’s so much to take in. Baekhyun has no idea how Joonmyun _actually_ feels about him, but now, Baekhyun knows that he’s in a little too deep with this whole friendship. He doesn’t think they can just be friends. He can’t be "just friends" with Joonmyun because every time he looks at him, listens to him talk about something he’s passionate in, Baekhyun just wants to kiss him.

Around a week after the incident, Baekhyun plays Sims. It hurts seeing Suho Sim and BaekSim interact like there’s nothing wrong. He’s annoyed that BaekSim can just be friends with Suho Sim, and in the end he gets so mad that he makes BaekSim do mean interactions with him over and over until their relationship is more red than green. It’s pitiful, he thinks, how much a stupid game can affect him. He wishes Suho Sim didn’t look so similar to Joonmyun.

Tao has been as sympathetic as he knows how, lounging around on the sofa when he’s not making videos and pointing out all of Joonmyun’s flaws.

"You said he wore hideous sweaters, right?" A shudder. "Imagine being seen out with a guy like that? I won’t even look at a girl if she’s not stylish."

"Because you’re shallow and rude," Baekhyun quips back dejectedly over a bowl of cereal. "Which is also why you keep getting hate over Twitter… and also why you’re single."

Tao often lets these criticisms go over his head. "Also, metal music? Metal is out. Nobody listens to that stuff any more, his career is headed nowhere."

"Don’t say those things about him!" He feels defensive and it sucks. "There’s nothing wrong with him."

"Well." Tao pauses. "I guess you’re _kind_ of right. You must have known this was at least a possibility. Sure if you two had some sort of gay friendship then going to a gay club together would be no big deal, but he didn’t even know you were gay. The way he asked you to go was like asking you on a date… I know I’m chatting shit about him, but honestly, what he did was a _little_ admirable."

"He got drunk and tried to fuck me and then decided he didn’t want to," Baekhyun declares miserably, his cereal all soggy now. He won’t eat that.

"He got drunk and _kissed_ you and _maybe_ wanted to take you home for that reason," Tao points out, flicking bleached hair away from his forehead. "But here’s the thing. Clearly he likes you, because he’s been spending so much time with you, and he likes you _enough_ that he’d rather be sober if something like that happened. We’ve all done stupid things when drunk, at least he had enough sense not to go through with it."

Baekhyun sulks. Tao’s right, of course he is, but Baekhyun is more upset with himself. He acted immaturely and ran out just because Joonmyun didn’t… and it’s so fucking stupid because he’s been ignoring Joonmyun and fuck, how must that make him feel?

"I just like him too much," Baekhyun finally settles on. "He’s good for me. He’s older, but when he talks to me, he treats me like we’re equal. He doesn’t mind mentoring me, and he likes to show me all kinds of different places around town, and he’s a good listener. I talk too much but he never looks bored. He hangs on to every word I say, and I like that. He finds me _interesting._ " A sigh. "Guys like that don’t come around every day and I’ve already fucked it up now so I should leave it at that."

Tao rolls his eyes. "Don’t be so melodramatic. If you like him, call him. Apologize. Tell him why you acted the way you did. He’s old, he’s probably been there before."

"He’s only thirty-four," Baekhyun says, but Tao just gives him a pointed look, and maybe, _maybe,_ Baekhyun will call Joonmyun later.

♦◇♦◇♦

Tao has a date in the evening and he probably won’t come home, so Baekhyun sends a vague text to Joonmyun about meeting up. It probably looks blunt and rude, but he doesn’t want to spill his heart over text, so he keeps it short and sweet. Joonmyun agrees, so Baekhyun texts him his address and then waits, the anxiety kicking in.

He doesn’t know what to say. "Sorry" will probably cut it because it’s Joonmyun, and Joonmyun would understand. He’s never really done this before, apologized for screwing up, and it makes him feel nervous and guilty about the whole situation.

When the door buzzes, Baekhyun jumps. Fuck, he’s not ready for this. He reaches the door in three long strides and opens it as casually as he can.

Joonmyun looks up at him, a weak smile tugging on his lips. It’s a sweater again, yellow and white stripes this time. Baekhyun gestures for him to come in, shutting the door once he’s kicked off his shoes.

"Hey," Joonmyun begins.

"Hi," Baekhyun replies, scratching his head. "Uh, do you want anything? A tea? Coffee?"

Joonmyun shakes his head. "No, thanks." He takes another hesitant step, looking around. "You have a nice apartment. Very homely."

"Thank you." This feels stiff and awkward. "Let’s sit down."

Baekhyun only has one sofa, and they both sit down at opposite ends of it, a person’s width between them. Baekhyun wishes Joonmyun had wanted something to drink because that would give him something to focus his attention on, instead of fully on Baekhyun.

Joonmyun crosses his legs, hands resting on his knees. "So. I want to apologize for… what happened at Evolution. It wasn’t right."

"No, I’m the one who’s sorry," Baekhyun sighs, looking away. He begins fidgeting, one of his nervous habits. "I shouldn’t have just run away like that."

"I just… don’t understand what happened, really," Joonmyun laughs nervously, and the sound grates against Baekhyun. "I didn’t know you liked men. Well, I still don’t. I’m not assuming anything seeing as you never outright told me—"

"I’m gay," Baekhyun says. "Always have been. I didn’t know _you_ liked men up until you told me so."

Joonmyun just looks at him. Baekhyun feels almost naked under his gaze, like he’s trying to unravel Baekhyun by the seams.

"I want to say that you should have told me, but I can see how it might be off-topic to bring it up out of the blue…" Joonmyun shifts. "I… when I invited you to the club, it wasn’t because I thought you were gay. It’s because liking men is a part of my life and I wanted to be open about it? I thought inviting you there would give you the option of saying no if you weren’t okay with it."

"I thought you’d figured it out, honestly, and that you took me there because you wanted to sleep with me." It sounds bad like that, and Joonmyun’s face falls. "Which kind of made me feel weird, because I…" Baekhyun swallows. He has to say this. "I like you a lot, but I thought you were straight all that time."

"I’ve never had a random hook up in my life," Joonmyun shakes his head, scoffing. "Great. I kind of see now that inviting you to a gay club was definitely not a great way of showing you my real intentions. I’ve gone and messed that up, now, haven’t I?"

"What were your intentions?" Baekhyun asks, and Joonmyun shrugs.

"I don’t know. I wanted you to be my friend. Some people are a bit weird about the whole gay thing and I didn’t want to tell you outright." He sighs. "I wanted to have fun. I guess gay clubs have a reputation for being hook up spots for gay guys, though…"

"So… do you want to be friends now?" Baekhyun asks quickly. "We can still be friends, right?"

"Friends?" Joonmyun raises a brow. "Do you… want to be friends?"

Baekhyun wants to be more than friends but Joonmyun hasn’t said that he even likes him, so…

"Of course!" Baekhyun nods enthusiastically. "I really want to be friends. We can just… pretend like this never happened?"

Baekhyun wants to forget the embarrassment of running away from rejection, no matter how well-intentioned it was.

"Alright," Joonmyun says, eyes still boring into Baekhyun’s. "If that’s what you want. Friends it is." He clears his throat. "I’m meeting a friend for dinner, so I’ll leave you now. I’ll call though, okay? We can do something this week if you want."

"Okay," Baekhyun nods. This had been short… but oh well, at least everything has been cleared up?

Joonmyun stands, Baekhyun mirroring his actions. He walks him to the door, and waves goodbye when he’s gone, closing the door behind him. As soon as it’s shut, Baekhyun leans back against it, heaving a deep sigh.

So… things are okay now. Baekhyun sort of confessed but Joonmyun hadn’t really acknowledged it and it _stings_ but it’s okay, because they’re friends again. Baekhyun can go back to playing Sims and crushing on Joonmyun like the incident at the club had never happened. Everything is back to how it should be.

Except… Joonmyun had been a little weird about the whole friends thing. Had Baekhyun pushed too hard? Not hard enough? Fuck, had he come across like he was brushing Joonmyun off? Baekhyun’s mind spins as thinks about all the different possibilities and he tries to tune those thoughts out, because really, Joonmyun doesn’t seem like the type to hide what he’s feeling. 

Baekhyun doesn’t know why, but he suddenly thinks of BaekSim, and what _he_ would do in this situation. BaekSim hadn’t given up when Suho Sim rejected his cat conversation! BaekSim had ploughed through the murky waters of being on bad terms with Suho Sim until the two had become friends, and even best friends. BaekSim had even tried to woo Suho Sim with a heat of the moment kiss. Suho Sim had sadly rejected him but they’d remained friends, and with sudden determination, Baekhyun realizes what he has to do.

He rushes out of his apartment and down the stairs, head spinning around wildly. He doesn’t know which way Joonmyun would have gone — but wait! There’s a stripy person in the distance, and that _has_ to be Joonmyun, because nobody else would wear a sweater so ugly in the summer.

He half-runs down the street, dodging past a few people on the way and practically pounces on Joonmyun, both hands landing on his shoulders. Joonmyun spins around in shock, eyes comically wide, but he relaxes when he sees that it’s just Baekhyun.

"Oh," he breathes out. "Baekhyun. Did… did I leave something at yours?"

"When I told you I like you, you didn’t say anything," he says in a rush before he changes his mind, "but I think you do, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be making so much effort, right?"

"I—"

"So I’m going to be just as unkind to you as you were to me at the club," he leans forward and kisses Joonmyun on the lips, ignoring the rest of the world. It’s rushed, awkward, and he probably got more chin than lip there, but it’s _something._ "And now, I’m going to go home. So call me, okay, and we can go on a date." With that, Baekhyun takes a shaky step back in disbelief at how bold he’s just been.

Joonmyun just blinks, and as Baekhyun takes another step back to go home, Joonmyun reaches out and tugs on his hand.

"Wait," he mutters, still looking like he’s in a daze. "I thought… you want to be friends?"

Baekhyun groans. "I _like_ you, Joonmyun. Like, I imagine kissing you and I wonder how soft your skin is and how nice your hair smells, lame shit like that." His cheeks burn and he tries to tug his hand away so that he can go _home_ and bury his face in his pillows. "Can I uh, go now? I left the front door open…"

"We can go back, sure," Joonmyun nods, leading the way back to Baekhyun’s apartment like he wasn’t just going in the opposite direction. "The uh, person I was supposed to meet just um… cancelled on me! So I’m free for the rest of the evening. To talk."

What? _No!_ Baekhyun doesn’t want to talk about this _now._ He needs to be alone so he can shake off the embarrassment of his pathetic confession and whine down the phone to Chanyeol about how pitiful he is.

Joonmyun doesn’t let go of his hand all the way home, and when they get inside, Baekhyun making a point of slamming the door shut, Joonmyun swiftly presses him against it, body flush against Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun gasps, cheeks reddening even more.

"So you _don’t_ want to be friends?" Joonmyun probes, hands squeezing Baekhyun’s wrists. "You were just being… dense?"

"I thought _you_ wanted to be friends," Baekhyun explains through shallow breaths. "I thought you didn’t want anything more than friendship. I thought that kiss and everything else was a mistake, and—"

"Baekhyun," Joonmyun says in a tone that’s not up for discussion. "I like you. I wanted you that night because I _like_ you, and I also stopped because I like you. I didn’t want you to think I was just using you for a drunken one night stand."

"I wouldn’t have thought that…" Baekhyun mutters, even though he might have, if Joonmyun hadn’t called after. "Can we just forget about that night now? I don’t want it… to taint anything."

"I can’t forget about it," Joonmyun sighs, a hand unravelling from Baekhyun’s wrist, gently trailing up his arm. Baekhyun relaxes against his touch — Joonmyun’s voice is soft and it makes him all warm inside. "I know that night didn’t end well, but I _felt_ something, Baekhyun. I wanted to take you home with me that night so badly, not just for sex… I wanted to wake up next to you, too, and see you there, sleepy and naked next to me."

This is too much. Baekhyun’s stomach flips and he feels his cheeks burn, mind lingering on that thought. "I didn’t care that we were drunk.  I wouldn’t have thought you were taking advantage of me. I wanted it even before any alcohol touched my lips."

"But wouldn’t you want it sober?" Joonmyun asks, his voice dropping dangerously low, and if his previous statement wasn’t overloading Baekhyun’s heart, _this_ certainly is. "Wouldn’t you want to remember every kiss, every touch?" He leans in, whispering the words against Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter shut and he swallows hard. Too much. "When you woke up the next morning… wouldn’t you want to be glad you were with me instead of regretting it and seeing it as a drunken mistake?"

"I wouldn’t—" Baekhyun begins, but Joonmyun’s lips on his skin has his words cutting off with a gasp. "Fuck. Is this your attempt at getting me into bed the _right_ way?"

Joonmyun chuckles low, shamelessly, lips travelling up Baekhyun’s neck to his jaw. They’re still against the door, and with Baekhyun’s luck, Tao will come back any moment. But if he takes Joonmyun to his bedroom… then that’ll pretty much be sealing the deal, won’t it?

"I don’t have to _get you into bed_ if you don’t want me to," Joonmyun pulls away, a small smile on his lips. "I don’t want to come on too strong—"

"No!" Baekhyun says quickly, because he’s twenty three and he knows what he wants. "I want you. I want _all_ of you." His arms fall to rest around Joonmyun’s waist for emphasis. He’s not letting _this_ opportunity slide.

Baekhyun isn’t exceptionally experienced when it comes to this, usually just letting his body do the talking instead of overthinking it, but Joonmyun _clearly_ knows what he’s doing when all teasing falls from his face and his lips are on Baekhyun’s, coaxing them apart gently with his tongue whilst his hands cup around Baekhyun’s hips. Baekhyun whines, surprised, his eyes fluttering shut and _tries_ to shut out the insistent thoughts of _oh god this is really happening_ and just… enjoy Joonmyun.

Joonmyun is surprisingly strong, manoeuvring Baekhyun away from the door by his hips. Baekhyun takes his hand, stepping backwards towards his room, leading Joonmyun. He only hopes that he doesn’t notice all the empty instant noodle pots.

Joonmyun kicks the door shut with his foot, and in his own room, without the risk of his roommate walking in, Baekhyun’s confidence suddenly returns. It’s easy, when he knows what Joonmyun’s intentions truly are, to quiet his mind and let his body take over. As Baekhyun’s shirt is roughly pulled over his head, his stomach twists, lips finding Joonmyun’s once again.

Baekhyun’s back hits the bed, and Joonmyun is hovering over him, his eyes raking over Baekhyun’s torso like it’s a lot nicer than Baekhyun thinks it is. His cheeks flush, teeth worrying at his lower lip as Joonmyun just… drinks him in. Baekhyun tries to look sexy without making too much of an effort, but when Joonmyun’s covet expression relaxes into a big grin, Baekhyun’s cheeks positively _burn._

"Are you pouting, Byun Baekhyun?" Joonmyun whispers, leaning down to mouth at Baekhyun’s ear, making him shudder. "You know that just melts my heart, right?"

"Don’t make fun of me," Baekhyun whines, head turning to the side so he can stare at the plain white wall instead of at Joonmyun. "I just… I’m—"

"Anxious? Nervous?" With each word, Joonmyun presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s jaw. "You don’t need to be, you know. I like you, Baekhyun. Calm those thoughts of yours."

" _Why_ do you like me?" Baekhyun finds himself saying, voice sounding with more disbelief than he’d like in this situation. His cock is hard, trapped in his jeans. They can have this conversation later.

Joonmyun’s lips pause, his fingers pressing gently to Baekhyun’s cheek, tilting his head so that Baekhyun is gazing directly into Joonmyun’s dark eyes. The wool of his sweater irritates Baekhyun’s skin slightly, making him itch.

"I like you because you’re _you_ , Baekhyun," he murmurs, and although it’s probably the most generic statement in existence, Baekhyun’s heart warms to it. "I… it’s hard for me to connect with people. I don’t know what to say, how to act, but around you I just feel like I can be myself. In the end, aren't we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they'll tell us that we make sense?"

"I—" Baekhyun is lost for words. "Don’t be all poetic just because you make music."

Joonmyun’s smile is light and genuine and Baekhyun can’t help but mirror it. When Joonmyun kisses him again, it’s like his happiness is tangible and Baekhyun can taste it.

Baekhyun’s hands slip under Joonmyun’s sweater, easing it up and over his head. He can’t help but trail his hands over Joonmyun’s chest and down over his abs, subconsciously moaning at the feeling of Joonmyun’s body under his fingertips.

"Baekhyun…" Joonmyun mutters, grinding down and catching Baekhyun by surprise. "Are you sure this is okay…? Do you… really want to do this?"

" _Yes_ ," Baekhyun answers too quickly, with too much enthusiasm as he grinds back against Joonmyun, his whole body on fire.

It doesn’t seem to take long for Joonmyun’s hesitation to leave him, and like the flick of a switch, Joonmyun’s eyes darken and his hands fall to Baekhyun’s jeans, unbuttoning them hastily. Baekhyun’s hips tilt, helping him in removing them, and then Baekhyun can feel _more_ of Joonmyun as he grinds again, the denim of his jeans rough against Baekhyun’s boxer-clad crotch. His legs wind around Joonmyun’s waist, head falling back as Joonmyun peppers his chest with kisses.

When Joonmyun pulls off his own jeans, Baekhyun reaches over to his nightstand, pulling out lube and a condom. He’d put them there just in case a situation like this ever happened (it never had) and when he tosses them to Joonmyun, Joonmyun raises a brow. It’s not _that_ weird to keep stuff like this in a nightstand, is it?

"Please fuck me," Baekhyun says softly, because Joonmyun seems like the kind of guy who appreciates polite gestures. "I’ve been thinking about you fucking me for so long and I just can’t stand waiting any more."

Joonmyun, to his surprise, laughs. His hands slide into Baekhyun’s boxers, inching them down, and Baekhyun whines at the feeling of his cock finally being free, and also from the feeling of shyness that erupts suddenly from Joonmyun seeing him all exposed.

"Wait," Joonmyun chides, and Baekhyun just whines again. "Let’s not rush this. I want to take my time."

"I don’t want you to take your time!" Baekhyun grumbles without thinking, watching as Joonmyun pops the cap of the lube, slicking his fingers a little. "You look so good, and you’re not even completely naked." His eyes purposely drop to Joonmyun’s crotch, his grey boxers bulging at the front.

Joonmyun shushes him, pressing a finger to Baekhyun’s entrance. He twitches at the cold feeling, but as Joonmyun teases him, the lube warming up, Baekhyun melts along with it. "Please," he mutters when Joonmyun presses a finger inside him. "I want you…"

Joonmyun pushes his own boxers down, and Baekhyun’s own cock twitches at the sight of Joonmyun’s.

"You’re so impatient," Joonmyun sighs, tearing the condom wrapper. Baekhyun’s eyes are glued to Joonmyun’s cock as he rolls the condom onto it, and he has to look away quickly when Joonmyun catches him in the act. "I bet you’re loud in bed. Are you loud in bed?"

"No," Baekhyun lies, his voice coming out as more of a gasp as Joonmyun’s fingers return to his entrance, pressing two in this time, working them inside him. Baekhyun moans, high pitched and needy, proving Joonmyun right.

"Sure," Joonmyun teases, pushing a third in when Baekhyun pushes back against his hand. "Is it good?"

Baekhyun nods quickly, eyes shut as Joonmyun’s fingers brush against his prostate. He wants more, he wants to feel full, but he knows that if he asks again then Joonmyun will tease him, prolong the agony, and Baekhyun can’t stand waiting any longer.

"Please," he whispers, when the stretch no longer burns. He licks his dry lips, rolling his hips up to make a point. "I want you. I _really_ fucking want you."

Joonmyun retracts his fingers, palms on the top of Baekhyun’s thighs. Baekhyun doesn’t know how he can be so patient when he’s pretty much _dying_ with need this end of the bed, and he doesn’t know he’s holding his breath until Joonmyun lines his cock up with Baekhyun’s entrance, pushing in slowly, and all the breath leaves Baekhyun’s lungs.

Joonmyun is slow, gentle, and it’s been a while since Baekhyun has had sex with anyone so it’s a little uncomfortable at first. Baekhyun watches the way Joonmyun bites down on his lip as he thrusts, at the way his hair flops into his eyes. He’s so beautiful, Baekhyun thinks, so fucking sexy. How is it possible that Joonmyun is this perfect?

Baekhyun moans loud, hoping his body language can tell Joonmyun what he wants as his legs tighten around Joonmyun’s waist, eyelids fluttering. Joonmyun takes the hint, his thrusts becoming sharper. He grunts, and Baekhyun’s stomach flips.

Joonmyun is thorough, relentless, grabbing one of Baekhyun’s wrists and pinning it above his head. His muscles tense and the sight of him is just… unbearable, almost. Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s ever been this sexually attracted to someone, and he lets his eyes close to distract himself, focusing on the way Joonmyun’s cock feels inside him with each thrust.

It doesn’t take long before Baekhyun’s stomach is curling, heat building inside him. "I’m gonna…" he manages to whine, and Joonmyun’s hand curls around his cock, thumb brushing against the head in time to his thrusts. It’s all too much, and Baekhyun comes with a cry of Joonmyun’s name, his hips tilting up into Joonmyun’s hand.

Joonmyun moans and his thrusts become shorter, harder. It doesn’t take long before he comes as well, no sign other than his labored breathing. When he’s done, he falls against Baekhyun. His body feels _good_ against Baekhyun’s, especially when Baekhyun wraps his arms around Joonmyun’s torso, hugging him close. He doesn’t know if Joonmyun is a hugger, but damn it, he _needs_ this.

They’re both breathing hard, and Baekhyun stays silent until he catches his breath, peaking at Joonmyun from under his bangs.

"That was…" he starts, before clearing his throat, the awkwardness creeping back up. "Thanks… for that."

"Are you really just thanking me for fucking you, Baekhyun?" Joonmyun raises a brow, his voice low, smooth enough that it makes Baekhyun tingle.

"I—" Baekhyun blushes, wanting to look away. "Well, what am I supposed to say? I don’t know what to say in these situations!"

Joonmyun laughs quietly, kissing Baekhyun’s nose. "You’re very cute. Do you mind if I stay awhile? I don’t want to leave just yet. 

"Spend the night!" Baekhyun demands more than asks. "I mean, if you want to? I’d… like it."

"Okay," Joonmyun agrees with another kiss. "Do you mind if I shower?"

Baekhyun shakes his head, and as Joonmyun gets up to leave, his eyes flicker to the right. Baekhyun, watching his face, follows his gaze, and his stomach almost _drops_ at the sight.

He’d left Sims on. More importantly, he’d paused it just as BaekSim and Suho Sim were in the middle of a grand chat at Suho Sim’s place, three toddlers and the wife all crowding the main room. The similarities between Joonmyun and Suho Sim are so apparent now that it looks like even Joonmyun notices. He steps closer to the screen, leaning forward to get a better look.

"Baekhyun…?" He asks, question in his voice as Baekhyun groans, knowing he’s been caught. "Is that… me?"

"No!" Baekhyun practically shouts. "I can explain!"

"You play Sims… and you made me?" He turns around, eyes wide, and Baekhyun can see the hint of a smile on his lips. "You’re something else."

"It’s Suho Sim!" Baekhyun argues, turning onto his stomach as he hides his face under the pillow, muttering. "I don’t play Sims…"

"Whatever you say, Baekhyun," Joonmyun chuckles, and Baekhyun can hear him clicking around. Curiously, he peaks up. "Why are there toddlers all over the floor…"

Baekhyun watches him as Joonnmyun slides into his gaming chair, still butt naked, and tries to make BaekSim flirt with Suho Sim. As expected, BaekSim is rejected, and Joonmyun whines sadly. Shower forgotten, Joonmyun starts to play, and Baekhyun wonders what he did to deserve such perfection.

♦◇♦◇♦

"So he just… played Sims? Right after you fucked?" Tao asks incredulously the next day, when Joonmyun has gone home and Baekhyun is curled up on the couch in his pajamas. "That’s weird."

"Yeah…" Baekhyun says dreamily, not really paying attention. He can’t stop thinking about the way Joonmyun had felt inside him, the way Joonmyun had felt when Baekhyun had cuddled him close during the night… the way Baekhyun’s heart had raced when Joonmyun had turned over in his sleep and snuggled against Baekhyun’s chest. This morning, he’d had to leave early, but he’d kissed Baekhyun full on the lips even as Tao sneakily watched from the living room, and Baekhyun had been dizzy with happiness.

"You really do know how to pick them, Baekhyun," Tao rolls his eyes. "Oh well. When I came back this morning, the dishes were done. I know you didn’t do them, so at least he has _something_ going for him."

"He has _everything_ going for him," Baekhyun mutters moodily, looking down at his phone. He has one new text: _dinner this week? :~)_

"Okay okay, whatever," Tao rolls his eyes. "I’m glad you found someone as strange as you who isn’t also a psychopath."

"Me too," Baekhyun says, ignoring the quip. In the back of his mind, he thinks maybe it’s time to uninstall Sims… or, maybe, at least make a lifelike Baekhyun and Joonmyun couple.

Without hesitating, Baekhyun jumps up from the couch and heads to his room, leaving Tao alone. He can’t see Joonmyun every second of every day… but at least now, maybe he can make a Sim Joonmyun to fill the empty time with...


End file.
